connected

Today we were blessed with a comcast service guy who was great. He changed out some splitters and updated everything. We are up and running! However today I ran errands all day and I still haven't been home long enough to become witty. Hopefully soon.
Stay tuned!

High speed in-ternet--out-ternet

I can't post as my internet is out...I'm at Shannon's so I thought I'd say, tune in next week.
Christmas was great! I got so many wonderful gifts! Tell you about it soon...

no compute

Darn computers are so madding! Hooked up comcast high speed Internet five days ago and the darn thing is so slow...I want to throw the works out the window...and almost did!
High Speed? That is a joke! Slow makes me crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear Santa do something evil to comcast!

Jingle All The Way

No time for a witty post Shannon has me too busy! It's the Holiday Rush Rush Rush I love so much! Not. So off goes Santa's elf-Ho Ho Ho!

I'm here....

Just wanted to say I didn't need that Will....I made it to the sunshine state in one piece. No more cold and snow for me. I am running out to a Christmas Pageant...a fabulous one where there are real camels and angels fly in for the birth of Jesus. Wish you were all here to see it with me.

My Letter To Santa

Dear Santa;
Could you repeat the holiday season I had last year? Once again please let me stand in shopping lines so long they wrap around the store twice. So that I might have time to read my shopping list and check it 20 or 30 times for accuracy. And I do so enjoy being pushed and shoved by angry shopper’s carts until the skin peals off my heels. Let me also search through four or five stores for that one special item on my shopping list only to have the last one snatched right out of my hands. Be sure to let each person who receives one of my gifts that I painstakingly wrapped with expensive paper and bows from Pottery Barn just rip it open with one pull & with out a second look. And let me somehow enjoy standing on hard floors for an entire day to do my holiday baking and if you could let me gain another ten pounds from just licking the spoons. And let me get gifts this year that I really need: like the leopard print satin bathrobe I received last year; or another barely used perfume; I wouldn’t mind having holiday sox’s with loud bells as they have been a hit in the past; large snowman earrings I can always use; or maybe yet another holiday sweater with Rudolf and his big glowing red nose that would be a must have. So Santa if you can just repeat last year.

Freaky Friday

This is a big Friday night...when your our age.
We shopped for presents for Grandma, my husbands mother, we visited her-at the HOME-then went out to dinner with his sister and brother in law. Now for the excitment...we went driving to see Christmas lights. I was so excited and feeling happy everyone was not as bah humbug as me. But we were sadly disapointed this year. Either everyone has lost the holiday spirit or, and this is more likely, it got so cold so fast that people couldn't get their lights out. Last night it was -20, still is. So many of the places we go by every year had little or no lights.

We would get all excited and say, lets go see the house with the, yada yada, get there and freaky...nothing.
The last few years one family had the whole house & yard lit up with music and flashing lights and santa and his sleigh jumping over a creek etc...it was the WOW factor. The guy had it set up with his computer and it was something. We drove over there and nothing, freaky. Later we heard his neighbors had him shut down...so sad. But I suppose if you were the neighbor it would drive you nuts too. All the cars everywhere, lights flshing. It would be like having the swat team at your neighbors every night!

Finally, we heard Brainerd had a drive through park, went there, donated our $8.00, and saw several lights etc, it was very nice. (Nothing like Florida's but again the cold factor.)

I am sure looking forward to the boat parade and the Holiday parks! Florida here I come!

Blinking or non-blinking?

I am NON definitely. Blinking lights make me nauseas!
(Although once I had this really cool strand of tiny little twinkling lights; really, barely an occasional twinkle…wish I still had those but alas they went in a ball somewhere forgotten.)

White or Colored part II

Who Knew?
Seems like quite the controversy, a few friends phoned me & others emailed, not sure if they wanted to comment online, so here are some further thoughts to consider.
I searched the internet and oh my goodness people have strong feelings on this matter, I had no idea.
First observation, hands down little kids seem to like the colored lights better. (So Erin better pick up a few strands after Xmas when they are on sale…you may have to switch.)
Second, generally, it’s the sophisticated types that go for the white lights…but I feel like it is a contradiction to feel the need for only white lights-because the multi ones are for trailer trash folk-(not my comment, someone on the internets, although I do feel I personally associate better with folk in a trailer park-a nice one-than those on snob hill) anyway back to my thought about the contradiction for the sophisticated white lighters…most of them put their white lights on a fake Christmas tree…Isn’t that an oxymoron?
Third, To Ryan’s comments on loving the big old fashion colored bulbs that are bound to start your tree aflame…you rock! My mother put those lights on her tree until the day she died--(I presume some of them were the original ones she bought in the 1940’s because if you touched them you got burned.) Ryan, you are in good company, she was a classy lady! Myself I can’t hang onto lights that long, I kind of toss them into a ball and they usually don’t work by the next year & I buy new because they are a tangled mess, but if I had taken better care of them I would use them! My Mother loved her hand-made decorations and big lights yet after she died we couldn’t find them; I figure she took them with her! (So watch for the big fire-ball glow of multi colored lights in the sky!)
Just to clarify, I love white lights too…I have them on my fake palm tree in my place in Florida and keep it lit all year! (Now that is Tacky with a capital T) I love the sparkle of white lights and use colored lights for the holiday tree & season only. Even un-sophisticated little me knows that much!
So basically what I figured out was this…EACH TO HIS OWN…Ain’t American Great!
Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good (& brightly lit) night. HO HO HO

White or Colored

I have found that people can be divided into two categories. White or Colored. Lights that is.
I myself am a colored lover. Trees to me look so wonderful with all those colored lights glowing and the bulbs reflecting the sparkle from the lights. I can however put white ones outside on bushes or palm trees as it were. (They look especially good in the snow.) I also don’t mind white ones around stairs etc…but on the tree, for me, it must be colored.
So tell me are you a white or colored light lover?

A Modern Day Fairy Tale

Once upon a time about 16 years ago a beautiful princess was sick. She called to her mother and ran for the downstairs bathroom. When she turned the corner the projectile vomiting started. The bathroom looked like a fire hose had been let loose in it—Oh my! The mother was helping her daughter up the stairs, so that she might help her to clean herself up because the princess was so weak.

Just then a handsome young prince knocked on their door. The prince had ridden his snowmobile (as he was only 15 and couldn’t drive a vehicle) over to visit the sick princess. The princess and the prince had been “dating” for a few months.

The mother turned to the prince and told him how the princess had gotten sick downstairs and she was going to help her and he should go home.
Later when the princess was settled safe in a warm bath, the mother went downstairs to begin the arduous task of cleaning vomit from all surfaces.

Much to her astonishment there was the young prince cleaning up after the princess himself. The mother said, “Oh my! You shouldn’t be doing that!” But the young prince insisted, “You need to take care of the princess, I will take care of this." And when he was done the bathroom sparkled.

Now when the mother returned to the princess and told her the unbelievable story of what the prince was doing, the mother also added, “you should marry this prince, because no other man, you will ever meet, would do such a distasteful task for you! This prince is truly one in a million.”

And so the princess did marry her prince, when they grew up, and they lived happily ever after! The End

P.S. That prince is my son-in-law!

Fricken Cold

Today it is about -20 degrees with wind chill! And that is fricken cold! We were out for a few minutes today and you could hardly make it from the house to the garage. Minnesota. Need I say more!

Of sound mind

Today I wrote up a very simple Last Will and Testament--as we are flying soon and I always get paranoid that we will die together & what a mess we would be leaving for Shannon. My goal was to get a real updated will but of course, once again, we never did get time...so I made a new one up. Our last one still had our daughter going to live with our best friends if we died. (I'm just taking a wild guess here that no matter how much she likes the Johnston's she probably wants to stay with her husband in the event of our death.) Anyway, my first sentance says that we are of sound mind. When my husband read it he chuckled..."that's a stretch!" I thought so too!

On a completely different note:
Did you ever wonder where did the slang word for water came from? Agwa…in what language does that say water? Well I wonder-does anyone know?

CANE

My husband and I started watching the new TV series Cane, with Jimmy Smits. (Whom we have loved ever since LA Law. Shannon calls Smits, Dad’s man-crush) The show quickly became a must watch…but already a few short weeks into it…they are going off in a direction I don’t like!
Quick synopsis: Smits’ plays a Cuban who was adopted into a Cuban family who is one of the largest Rum producers in the world and there live in Miami. They are a family who came to this country with nothing from Cuba and made it! Ironically Smits marries their daughter, a so good looking mother who has a son who looks older than her, go figure. Now the father is stepping down as CEO (father has cancer) and named Smits’ in his place. (Upsetting his two natural born sons for more added drama.) In the first few episodes Smits is a strong and of course handsome husband and father who protects his family at all costs. He finds out their nemeses in the Rum business had their younger sister killed years ago. The man who he hired to kill her is now hanging around his family and Smits has one of his men kill him. Now, I forgave him for that. He felt his family was in danger and was taking steps to save them by killing a very bad man. BUT, and this is a big but, now he has gotten in with some unsavory mob guys…and has had a couple more people threatened and beat up. Then several more guys got killed…Now I am thinking this show is going in a direction I don’t like. If I can’t like his character then I don’t want to watch. And he has gotten a few guys killed now along the way-not the type of thing I want to spend my evening watching.

Why does that happen so often with a series…they start out one way and you love them…then the writers turn on you and the show takes a whole new direction. The show you love goes to a show you don’t like and eventually don’t watch. Why can’t they leave well enough alone? What is wrong with happy, contented, moral, monogamous and so on. Why is doing the right thing boring to most of the watching public? Come on writers…Smits needs to be a good guy! I may stop watching if Alex Vega (Smits) doesn’t return from the dark side and soon. But my husband is going to continue…he doesn’t mind the violence as much as I do. His comment was, “It’s only a movie.”

crazy woman

Yesterday I couldn’t remember the year I was born. I was leaving a message and had to leave my birth date and literally kept stumbling on the year. I muttered stupid things like “ah ah I think it’s 1949, yea that sounds right, I think…" I’m sure the nurse I left the message for thinks I am ready for the Alz unit not to mention a wheelchair.
It’s hell to get old.

I'm Thankful

I just returned from a relaxing two days in Duluth!
But reverse to the Wednesday before Thanksgiving…cook, cook, cook! I made sweet potatoes laced with bourbon that had a pecan & brown sugar crumble on top. (yum so wonderful) Loads of my famous spicy sausage and wild rice dressing, 18 deviled eggs, fresh green beans with ham & laced with bourbon (see a theme here?) A cheese ball & Three, count them, three pumpkin pies. By the time my brother added the potatoes, turkey, corn and extras…wow full! And oops I forgot that my friend Darlene made us the most heavenly dinner rolls…real homemade ones. Then to be extra sweet she made homemade caramel rolls for us too.
My knee was the size of a basket ball after standing up for two days of cooking. So then I relaxed at the hotel all day yesterday.
Thanksgiving was a fun day but Shannon & Jon weren’t there and my parents of course. It wasn’t near as fun as the old days when we were all together at mom’s. We all would have too much to drink (had to…to keep from going crazy) we argued about politics, told jokes and laughed. But in the end we would sit down to the best meal ever, cooked by mom and me and do the “I’m Thankfuls” and fell very lucky.
Incase you don’t know what the “I’m Thankfuls” are…It is where we go around the table one by one and say what we were most thankful for that year. There is a lot of pressure…we work on what we are going to say from year to year trying to out-do the next guy with the best one that makes the most people cry. But no matter how hard we try Jon P. still holds the record from the first year we did it about 15 years ago when he brought the whole table to tears saying how thankful he was to be taken in by our family and shown how a real family loves each other! It was much more eloquent than that, but that was the jest of it.
When we got home today reality sunk in…I had 13 calls to make to clients and John is still working. Oh well.
And I was thrilled to see that the neighbors had taken down the huge blowup turkeys in their yard. Although now it is filled with an entire family of polar bears, Santa-locked in a bubble-giant candy cane archways and Rudolph’s with glowing noses…and more. Well, I’m thankful I only have to look at them for two weeks longer! The Sunshine state here I come!

It's a Wonderful Life

I watch the Fox news morning show with coffee everyday. The cast, Steve, Gretchen & Brian always banter and make me laugh. I think it is a good thing when you keep up on world news, which is so depressing, but you can still get a few good laughs. But today I was shocked and horrified! Gretchen admitted that she had never seen the movie, “It’s a wonderful life”! That spun my world off its axis. That anyone who lives in America and is over the age of five and hasn’t seen that movie…That would be like someone saying they had never seen, “Miracle on 34th ST.” or “Casablanca” There are some movies that are so great they change your lives.
One movie that was life changing for me was “Love Story”. I was a young teen who thought death was something reserved only for the very old; until I saw that show. When Ally McGraw dies I started crying and didn’t stop for days. (To this day I can’t watch it again.) After about the 2nd night of crying my dad sat down on my bed, he said, “You do realize it was just a movie, she is fine, nothing happened to her?”
I still remember my answer, “I know that but it happened to somebody for real. That is who I am crying for.”
I think that was the moment I knew life was scary—it was a crap shoot. I have been terrified of the safety of my loved ones ever since.
Thankfully most of the classic movies that mean so much to me and my family, do not have lessons that hard to learn.

Memory Monday

Memory Monday was Shannon’s idea, here goes:
When my older brother and I were little Mom used to recite a poem to us while she cleaned the house or did the dishes, it was Little Orphan Annie by James Whitcomb Riley. It was to keep us entertained and out of trouble. I can still hear her voice and scary inflections as she spun the tale. It won’t be as good as hearing her say it but read it for yourself…and share it with your little goblins...


Little Orphan Annie's come to my house to stay. To wash the cups and saucers up and brush the crumbs away. To shoo the chickens from the porch and dust the hearth and sweep, and make the fire and bake the bread to earn her board and keep. While all us other children, when the supper things is done, we sit around the kitchen fire and has the mostest fun, a listening to the witch tales that Annie tells about and the goblins will get ya if ya don't watch out!

Once there was a little boy who wouldn't say his prayers, and when he went to bed at night away up stairs, his mammy heard him holler and his daddy heard him bawl, and when they turned the covers down, he wasn't there at all! They searched him in the attic room and cubby hole and press and even up the chimney flu and every wheres, I guess, but all they ever found of him was just his pants and round-abouts and the goblins will get ya if ya don't watch out!!

Once there was a little girl who always laughed and grinned and made fun of everyone, of all her blood and kin, and once when there was company and old folks was there, she mocked them and she shocked them and said, she didn't care. And just as she turned on her heels and to go and run and hide, there was two great big black things a standing by her side. They snatched her through the ceiling fore she knew what shes about, and the goblins will get ya if ya don't watch out!!

When the night is dark and scary, and the moon is full and creatures are a flying and the wind goes Whoooooooooo, you better mind your parents and your teachers fond and dear, and cherish them that loves ya, and dry the orphans tears and help the poor and needy ones that cluster all about, or the goblins will get ya if ya don't watch out!!!

Wishing or Washing

This time of year all my windows look like crap, all spotted from the rainy/dusty season.
For those of you who (like me) don’t DO windows I have a tip:
This will sound weird….Go with me here…
Thoroughly mix in 1 cup corn starch in about 2 quarts cool water. I use an old wash rag get it wet in mixture, then ring out damp dry, wipe window let sit for a minute until the window has a white film, then rub dry with a another old wash rag or towel. Rub in any direction, or in circles…still no streaks…not a one. Tip: The corn starch wants to settle to the bottom of the bucket so you must continue to swish it around.
Seriously, try it. Your windows will never look better.

I bet you think I am washing windows today? Nope, just wishing I was washing them.

Okay five random things about me:

1. I get injured doing nothing. (It’s mysterious and it sucks) Good thing I didn’t get pregnant-mysteriously-I would be Old Mother Hubbard by now.
2. I can fart with the best of them! (Ask anyone who really knows me-propriety will not let me explain further.)
3. I am crafty. I can make or figure out how to knock-off almost anything. And I enjoy doing it.
4. I am a fabulous cook-modesty is not one of my virtues-I don’t use a recipe I dump and it turns out great. I eat at restaurants and I can taste exactly what’s in the food for spices.
5. I have a preference for small furry dogs who bark incessantly!
6. Favorite drinks: Water is beverage one! Wine is beverage two. Coffee beverage three and honorable mention goes to beer and most other spirits. (Also I love spicy hot V8 juice-go figure.)

Counting Down

Sitting here at work looking at my crooked wooden cane leaning in the corner, I keep thinking that Kris Kringle (from Miracle on 34th ST.) should be here any second. I love that movie. And with Thanksgiving only a few days away I’m sure I will be watching it! (As flat-backing is about all I can do anyway.)
Today I can see winter is coming our way. Flurries are blowing past the window at high velocities. And it is cold-burr. I hope Old Man Winter can be held at bay somehow until I leave the state…only 27 more days until I get to the land of Sunshine! Yipee!

Gimpy update

Got through two days gimping along with my cane—today at work I was wondering if a client came in and was real nasty--would I be tempted to hit them with my cane? Turns out everyone was nice. I didn't have to assault anyone.
Leg hurting must climb stairs while I am able…over and out!

Bad Karma

I guess I got paid back with some bad Karma for the blow-up the blow-up comment…’cause my knee blew-up!
Happened Friday about 3:00 just all of a sudden I couldn’t bend my knee John found my mom's cane & I hobbled up the 13 stairs to the apartment, ace-wrapped it and iced it all weekend. I managed to hobble down to work today but I don’t think I will work very long. I hope it gets better by this weekend as next week is prepping for Thanksgiving and that will take some doing in my current condition.
I had nothing to do all weekend but lay around so I turned on QVC which turned out to be hard on the credit card…How was I to know it was a Bare Esentials (make up) weekend! At least I didn’t buy any porcelain dolls! But with any luck maybe now I will look like one! Ha Ha!

Blow up the Blow-ups!

What do blow up holiday lawn ornaments say about those who put them up?
I wonder what possesses someone say to themselves, “I think I would like to have a 15 foot high, glowing turkey, in my yard.” Or a Huge, fat Charlie Brown who lays on the ground even when he’s inflated. (my neighbors yard) I call him Poor sad Charlie because he is bent in half every year.
Why would anyone want to see Santa and Rudolf trapped in a bubble by night and lying in a puddle by day? Or worse the 20 foot inflated Christmas tree with branches that are shaped like torpedo-breasts!
Or the Santa down the street that I call dead Santa because they don’t ever light him after the first night and lies in a puddle until July.
When the blow-ups are lit they look like huge glowing aliens from a mutant planet and when the lights go off they lay like dead things in a puddle.

So what do blow up ornaments say about those people who buy them? I think they say--
“THE LIGHT IS ON BUT NOBODY IS HOME.”

"Pinning" Finger

I have to tell you an old story to tell you a new story:
Thirty odd years ago when my husband and I were engaged it was our first Christmas. And we had cut down a real tree and he was going to trim a few small low branches. Well I was a girl living alone and I didn’t have any utility knives but I got him a large kitchen cleaver, and he started cutting. (Toward himself, obviously he wasn’t a boy scout.) The knife slipped and he stuck his finger in his mouth and started yelling and jumping around the room. I was trying to grab his hand and see the damage but he kept jumping around with the finger in his mouth saying, “Oh my God ith’s my pinning finger, ith’s my pinning finger!”
“What the hell is a pinning finger I asked?” handing him a wet washcloth.
He covered the finger with the cloth and spat out, “My spinning finger you idiot!”
“Well then what the hell is a spinning finger?”
“The finger I use to spin a basketball!”
Well we finally examined the finger and it was a small slice and the spinning finger was in tact!
“Well it looks fine,” I say.
“It could still heal with a bump and throw off my spin.” He said in a disgruntled, whiney voice.
I thought he was making a bit too much out of a little cut. And since he wasn’t a basketball star nor did he play for the Harlem Globe Trotters, I couldn’t see the importance of a spinning finger. Well it was important apparently. And I guess I was lucky we even got married after that.

Now here is the new story:
Last night after a grueling day at work I fried fresh fish for dinner and made a nice meal etc...so after dinner my husband was helping wash the dishes while I put the leftovers away. All of a sudden I heard a muffled screech and I saw he had his dish-soapy hands by his face with one finger in his mouth. So I figured he had cut himself. There were no knives in the sink. (I never do that.) He had cut it on the metal tongs. Okay, obviously not easy to do as I wash them every night, but it happened. So I said, I’ll take over the dishes and you go put a Band-Aid on it. I handed him a paper towel and he went into the bathroom. I finished up all the food and dishes (about 15-20 minutes) he was still in the bathroom. So I walked in and see a spotty bloody paper towel and Band-Aids everywhere and ointment and so forth. So I say with humor, “do we have to amputate? Or can we save it?” He doesn’t see the humor in that.
He is holding up his hand, finger pointing upward. So I put on some ointment and a couple Band-Aids. “You’ll be fine in a couple days. But I don’t think you will make the try out for the Globe Trotters again this year.” It was his “pinning” finger don’t you know!

Manic Monday

Busy at work today oh my! Add in Manic MN weather—I was talking with a client this morning and I looked up to see a full blown snow white blizzard out the window. By the time I finished my conversation and turned back to the window it had stopped. All day has been like that--fast forward and repeat then delete.
But just when I was about to pull my hair out in walked a tall, dark, handsome stranger…Surprise…it was my son-in-law! He was up north hunting and stopped in with fresh venison. He shot a big doe and was kind enough to share. He was on his way to buy an ice chest so he could take the meat home with him on the plane. We had a wonderful visit even though it was short.
Brring…Now back to reality…Manic Monday.

Starry Starry Night

Around 5:00 am this morning my husband said, you have to get up and look at the sky. And wow he was right. The moon was about a quarter sliver but that was enough to back- light the entire sky to a gorgeous blue, and in my life I have never seen the stars so big and so bright! They really were like diamonds sparkling—big diamonds! Nothing beats a MN starry night.

Angel was not an Angel

Even “Bah Hum Ween” me...made Angel a costume this year; a hand knitted pink sparkly skirt and a pink bridal netting veil that tied around her neck. She looked like an angel fairy princess but I don’t have a picture posted as she wouldn’t leave it on long enough for me to take one. Every time someone came, I would put it on and hold her then take it off. No dog ever hated her costume more…(like mother like dog…she obviously doesn’t like Halloween either!)
I decided to drink wine during the whole candy give away…made it much more fun!

Grrrrr Happy Halloween

Shoo headless creatures
You are not allowed here.
And what kind of person
Comes as a cow’s rear?

Fly away all you witches
On your hot rod zoom broom.
Go home little goblins
You should be asleep in your room.

Tonight when the candy is gone
And everything is fine,
Then this Old Witch can relax
With a large glass of wine!

Fire in the hole

On Saturday I tried to burn down my house. (Shh don’t tell the insurance company I work for!) I was getting ready for a funeral and also prepping dinner for that night as my brother was coming to dinner later and I wouldn't have much time since I would be gone all afternoon. I I put a squash in the microwave (like I have done 100 times before) hit start and went to do my hair. I smelled campfire. But I didn’t get too excited as our neighbor has one burning daily. Then it smelled really like campfire so I looked in the mirror and behind me & black smoke was in the air. I ran to the microwave, where black smoke was billowing out. I opened it…and filled the room with the stuff. I threw open the windows and called my husband who ran upstairs. The squash stem was burnt to a black ember and was glowing with sparks. John ran it underwater and then carried it outside. We put fans in the windows to suck out the smoke until we had to leave. We sprayed FeBreze everywhere. Then we realized the microwave itself had to go outside. (Sadly, it is shot unless you want to give that good burned hot dog smell to something.) At the funeral everyone who hugged us smelled campfire and we had to explain again and again. For the last three days we have had vinegar sitting around in bowls to help wart off the evil smoke spirits, don’t you know. It helped, but of course, now the whole house smells like a pickle!

Brain Fart!

Did you ever have a brain fart so big you can’t remember something you know, you know? Well yesterday my oldest brother threw me a curve by saying it was our niece’s birthday a couple weeks ago. (They had just sent her a gift) And I said no, it was our nephew’s B-day but not our niece’s. Hers is in the spring, like April, I thought. We tossed it back and forth a few times my husband agreed with him and we all agreed to disagree.
(Until I could prove them wrong, that is!)

So this morning I started looking for my birthday book. I couldn’t find it. I found my Mother’s address and birthday book, their birthday's weren't listed in there. Now, I thought that was very weird but I pressed on. I called Shannon; she couldn’t find her birthday calender either. She was searching her palm pilot but a car accident in the street in front of her house was more interesting…so she went out to investigate.
Then I thought I will pull them up on my office computer, I have them insured. However, the kids weren’t listed under the members tab. Now this just plain pissed me off. So, like an idiot, and the worst aunt in the world, I called their mom, and just asked. Ah ha! I was right! Lil’s B-day was in April and Ian’s was in Sept. Then I decided to enter them in the computer as long as I was at it and low and behold they were already listed in there…I had looked in the wrong place. We have a new more updated place to look…I forgot that.
Then I walked upstairs and went to put my mom’s book away so I wouldn’t lose that too…and I saw a birthday tab…I had been looking in the address section. Of course in the birthday section…they were listed there! Of course my mother, who was the most organized person I know, had NOT forgotten to write down the birthdates of two of her grandchildren. Then when I put the book away, where it belonged this time, there was my birthday book! Brain Fart…so big! So this never happens again I am going to do what my mother always did. Every January she would write everyone's birthday on the new calender before she tossed out the old one. That way she never forgot anyones big day.
The silver lining is that I was right and I get to email that to my brother later! I love being right! (Even if I had to look like an idiot to prove it!)

Slippery Little Suckers

I was washing dishes this morning and while my husband jumped in the shower…pretty soon I hear a loud yell, “Connie, can you get me a bar of soap!” (Remember he is not the changer of empties. He finished the bar yesterday apparently and forgot to refill…shocker. I wouldn’t know as I usually use liquid and a “puff” I guess even desperation wouldn’t have let him use my Creamy Coconut scrub.) Keep reading there is a point…a few seconds later I hear it…the clunk of a soap bar hitting the shower floor. I wait and yes I hear it once again and I start laughing. I knew it would hit the floor a new soap bar always does and I was thinking was that fate? Not fate, Kismet, not Kismet. And then it hit me, Law of Averages! Yes, it is the Law of Averages that dictates a new bar of soap will hit the floor on the first day it’s opened and sometimes more than once. Has that ever happened to you, well it’s happened to me.

So now I am taking a poll...if this happens to you--tell me!

A childhood tale

Once upon a time when I was a kid at home (many years ago) my dad would always complain about how many lights were on in the house. He would rant, rave, lecture and turn out lights at every opportunity.
“Do you think I have stock in the electric company? Turn the lights out when you leave a room. This is costing me a fortune. I just walked through the house and found three rooms with no one in them and lights burning.”
“Gee dad we were just getting a drink or taking a bathroom break…etc.”
Things as we knew them were about to change. From then on, no matter, if you were watching TV with a couple of lights on…click…total darkness, followed by, “you don’t need lights to watch TV.”
If you were curled up in a chair reading…click…total darkness, “hey I can’t read in the dark.” Followed by…click…lights on and grumbling and mumbling “Darn kids never think of reading in the daylight!”
Then after one weekend of constantly getting the lights turned off on us we rebelled. Let’s turn the lights off and sit in complete darkness every chance we get and let's always turn the lights off on dad. Even mom was on our side. Operation lights out commenced.

Poor dad if he was half way up the stairs with arms loaded…click…total darkness! Crash… “Oops, didn’t know anyone was there, are you okay dad, just trying to save you money.”
If he was lying under the sink with a wrench…click…total darkness. You get the picture.
We sat in total darkness for an entire month. It was so bad one guy friend of mine said he thought we all went on vacation.
Then finally the big day, the electric bill came. “Grumble grumble…no difference” Dad muttered.
And that night dad marched through the house turning on all the lights in the house. “Hey, what’s the idea we asked?”
“I give up.” Dad said. “I bought stock in the electric company! Let there be light!”
And so there was. The End

Insanity day 5

I can sum up this week by saying two things;TGIF! And booze is in my future.

Insanity

Crazy Crazy work week. Remember when I clicked and clicked and got carpel tunnel? Well it was because things at work were slow. So we sent out 200 letters offering umbrella policies. (A million dollar policy to cover you against a big liability law-suit, which by the way all of you should have.) But who would have expected all 200 hundred people to call….crap it is nuts around here! It is 7:20pm and here I am still at work. But that is it I quit…for tonight at least. Next time I get the bright idea to send out letters I will be smart enough to send out 25 at a time. Both for my carpel tunnel health and my sanity. Wine here I come!

New Address: Room 212 Old Folks Home

First of all once I write this and put it out for the whole world to read I am sealing my fate as a grandmother…I will never be allowed to baby-sit my own grandchild! I will be lucky to be allowed to care for their dog. (Jon’s fish—never!)

Here is what happened: Today I got up early and decided not to jump in the shower. Instead I opted for the wash face, brush teeth, pit spray clean up. I got my clothes on, fed the dog, drank coffee, a bit of make up and down the stairs to the office I went. I wanted to start early and vacuum and dust. Which I did. Then we opened the office. I saw my husband we talked about a file. I saw our office assistant. I saw clients. This went on for about an hour. Then I had to use the bathroom. While washing my hands I looked in the mirror and much to my horror…I hadn’t fixed my hair! I mean I got out of bed, with bed-head and just left the house. Of course I ran upstairs and fixed it quick, belly laughing the whole time. In fact, I haven’t been able to keep a straight face all day. The most ironic part is no one said a word. I know my hair is the messy style but come on.

In the past I have left the house will rollers in…Now I am wondering what next? Will I show up somewhere with my shirt on backwards; (actually I have done that too) with my pajama’s on; with my underwear on the outside of my clothes? Will I even show up at the right place?

Last night a friend said that at the book store she saw a book called Memory so she bought it thinking it might be helpful. After she paged through it a bit at home, she went to put it on the book shelf and low and behold…she slid it in next to a book called Memory! I am calling her tonight. I definitely need to borrow a copy and she needs to read the other one!

A hole in one

Tonight our recently formed knitters group met for the first time. The two new knitters caught on quickly and now we are going to get together to knit our prayer shawls as often as we can. The women are a wonderful caring group of friends so of course tonight was a lot of laughs. And the food we brought to share was yummy. The snacks turned it into a party! The only thing we were missing was the wine…but wine and knitting don’t mix well. After they left I sat down to finish the shawl I was working on and after it was done I held it up and low and behold a huge hole right in the middle of it! This is not a good thing. So either I have to figure out some innovative way to disguise it, or Angel has just gotten a new blankey! At least it’s pink.

Brotherly Love

My brother—I think I’ll keep him!
My brother Howard was here for the weekend and we had so much fun together. First we had a meeting with several people who live on Agate Lake, (a pre-association meeting) which I volunteered him to lead as he is an expert in ground water and lake restoration. Then he and I went to Ruttgers’s Oktoberfest for a brat and beer. (Or two in his case) We walked all around the property, checking out the lake, and then listened to polka music. I used to go with my mother every year and I miss that, maybe that is why going with him was so special. Then I made a fabulous dinner of glazed ham and ham and bean soup. If I do say so myself, my bean soup is second to none! Yum. Maybe it is because I glaze the ham with RUM. Then this morning we went through an old box of Mom things and sorted it. He had lunch and now is headed back to Duluth. I love you Bro!

Stop reading those Romanicals!

Our dog, Angel, likes to sit on her daddy’s lap. When John is sitting down--I am chopped liver she won’t jump on my lap unless I bribe her with a treat…except when I am knitting! Then she loves me oh so much, wants my lap, and wants to be right there on top of the yarn. She is just like a kid—she wants your attention whenever she knows she doesn’t have it.

Shannon used to do the same thing. When she was little, (about 2 1/2 or 3) if I would sit down to relax and pick up a book, (Romance Novels in those days) within minutes she would come up to me with these really sad little eyes and say, “Mommy stop reading those romanicals.” I can still hear that little voice as if it was yesterday, guilt stays with you a long time.

I guess a mother just can't win, if she is doing something for herself someone wants her to stop.

Trick or Treat

Reading Jess’s blog about costumes set me to thinking…I hate Halloween. I have for as long as I can remember. Even as a kid. For a variety of reasons, here are only a few. One, why do we celebrate an evil saint’s day? Seems like Devil worship. Two, the house we lived in for 20 odd years was on the widest best lit street in town. Hence we had about 350 trick or treat-ers ringing the doorbell all night long. Three, our dog went berserk with each ring….not fun! Four, did I mention how much money was spent in candy we had to give out. (After many candy tampering scares we gave out pencils and even cash just because I didn’t want to inadvertently give out bad candy.) Five, I also have a problem with kids getting so much candy. It’s bad for their teeth, makes them hyper and usually sick. I never let my daughter trick or treat as a kid, except for going to a couple of neighbors and grandparents but that was all. Of course, as a child always loves the forbidden—
Halloween is her favorite holiday and she goes all out! Decorating the whole house, dressing up, throwing parties…(Go figure)

One thing I love about where I live now…we only get a few kids for trick or treat, my nephew and his buddies and a couple of Shannon’s friends with their kids. Gotta love dark alleys!

Last Supper

I was visiting a friend of my mother-in-laws at the hospital tonight who is dying of brain cancer. She is 80, a wonderful woman, her two sons and husband have preceded her in death, and all she wants now is to be with them. Her attitude is so good. She has had other complications though and she was hurting tonight. She can’t eat anything, literally, so she was preoccupied thinking of food. She was talking about her favorite foods that her mother used to make. To keep her mind off the pain we played the game ‘what would I eat if this was our last meal’…Her is what she wanted, pea soup, cod fish with white gravy, lefsa, coffee, bean & ham soup, beef roast and pork roast (cooked together) with gravy, homemade bread, coffee, cheese, homemade carmel rolls, coffee and a martini with olives. (You will be happy to know that the doctor was letting her have a cup of coffee tonight!)

This got me thinking what would I like—wine, my Mother’s Boiled Dinner, Rafferty’s Pizza, a cold Mich Golden Light with salt, chips & salsa with a Margarita, more wine, Publix rye bread toasted with butter, coffee, lobster with butter, Agate Lake fish-fried, my spaghetti, bean soup, green beans with ham, turkey, (only the crisp skin), broasted chicken wings, hot buffalo wings with blue cheese, wine…rhubarb cake, ice cream, apple pie, real root beer float, pumpkin bars and hopefully sometime in there I would just go to sleep…forever. If only it could be that way for every one and we could all be turning 100.
Lois…I pray you will go this way!

Out of Shape

I give out of shape a whole new meaning! Today at work I had to query a list of our clients 542 came up in that query I had to reduce the list to 200. To do that I had to right click, left click, double click, right click to delete them 342 times X 3…you do the math! Needless to say it was a lot of clicking and now I have a carpel tunnel like pain in the right fore arm and wrist…and it’s bad…I think I will have to leave work early and ice it—(I found the silver lining.)

Worst gift ever

Recently I read that woman’s brains and men’s function differently. No shit Sherlock! The interesting part of the article said that it takes ten years for information to move from the left side of the man’s brain to the right side which is the action side. (Or vice versa) But the point is my husband is living proof that is true. Here is the story:
In the late 1970’s one of my friends got an expensive perfume called, Opium. I thought it smelled heavenly and started dropping hints to my husband like, “I love Penney’s perfume, I think I might like a bottle of that Opium, you know for a gift sometime.” I never got it. I got light bulbs. Over the next few years I kept hinting. And the hints got less subtle, “Gee is it Christmas already, I bet you need a hint of what to buy me, I would like a tiny little bottle of Opium perfume. I know it’s expensive but it’s just that I would like it so much.” Still no Opium, which turned out to be a good thing for two reasons, one I decided I hated the smell of Opium by then and two I developed an allergy to scents.
Then around 1988 my husband came home from work and he looked like the cat who swallowed the canary. “I bought you a gift. A traveling salesman stopped in the office today selling perfume. He said they were Knock-offs but smelled just like the real thing. He was rattling off the names of what the different ones were and he said Opium, and I remembered you wanted some of that so I bought it, here this is for you.”
I opened the brown paper sack and pulled out a bottle of cologne the size of a litter of pop. “How did you remember that?” I ask, “I haven’t mentioned Opium for at least ten years.”
“I don’t know it just came to me. I bet you’re surprised.”
“Oh yes, I’m surprised, but how thoughtful of you. Although this doesn’t say opium. It says Impatience.” I say reading at the label.
“Of course not it would be illegal to call it Opium. But smell it. He said it smelled just like opium. And that best part is that whole big bottle only cost $3.00” He said proudly.
I spray some on my wrist and smell….Oh God awful!...It smelled like a combination of skunk and puke.
“Oh yaw that smells a lot like it. Yup. Thanks.” I say with my nose partially pinched shut. I set the one litter size bottle it the bathroom and never use it. Several years later when I have sprayed enough outside on the deck to show that I appreciated it…I finally toss it out.
But the purchase proves is that, it does take ten years for something that went in one ear to travel through the brain to the hand and into the wallet.

favorite quote

I received this quote from a friend today:
When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before the white man came, an Indian said simply, "Ours."
~Vine Deloria, Jr.

And it reminded me of my favorite quote which hung in my parents’ entryway for as long as I can remember; now it hangs in mine and makes me laugh every time I come home.

(The picture on the plaque shows American Indians who are rolling in laughter….and it says…)

“When White Man came to this world Indians were running it.
There were no taxes or debt and the women did all the work.
And White Man thought he could improve on a system like that!”

TGIF

TGIF need I say more.

Today's happenings

...called Son-in-law to wish him a Happy Birthday. Missed him this morning I will try tonight. I dropped the dog off at the groomers (Angel looks faboulous)…picked up Gramma Sue (my sister-in-laws grandma) brought her to a friends & brought her back. Went to see my nephew run Cross country, his final meet…missed it! He told me the wrong time. A lot of us missed it for that reason. But he did great. His junior-high team won the meet and he took 10th overall and there were six conference schools. So great job Drue! My brother talked to me! (He has been mad for a couple months) So that was good. Over all, not exciting but a very nice day. It would have been better if I could have cooked a great dinner and birthday cake for Jon’s birthday. I love you…I wouldn’t trade you for anything!
(Well that’s a lie…I’d trade you for fifty million dollars, or maybe less, I’d have to think on it.)

Knit & Purl

I have recently finished a knitting project for our church. Most churches have groups that make prayer shawls. For those of you who haven’t heard about them it’s nothing more than a warm and cozy wrap about 20 inches wide by 60 inches long. What makes them special is that you weave silent prayers into them as you knit. When you are done you pass it onto your church, at which time a prayer group prays over the shawl and then gives it away to someone who is ill. I have known several people who have gotten them including my own mother. They have all mentioned how comforting it is to wrap up in the soft shawl and know that someone cares. I am not a great knitter but it was easy and it gave me a project to do while watching TV at night (I pray during the commercials.)

As The World Turns

Could the World still turn if two people who couldn’t change a toilet paper roll…married each other? My theory is that the universe makes certain that doesn’t happen. Fate is why opposites attract…so in a relationship there will always one person who can change the empty roll of T.P.; one person who can unwrap a new stick of butter; one person who can call for reservations; one person who can carry out the garbage; one person who can kill bugs; one person who can empty mouse traps; one person who can put down the lid on the commode; one person who can run the VCR or DVR; one person who can mow grass; and one person who can clean up puke. Ain’t fate great?

Calling all refrigerators--green or clean?

I must be trying to do my part to “go green”. Or I should say my refrigerator is. For days now I knew it was too full and needed to be cleaned out. But I could still stack and shove, but this morning the shoving resulted in a total disaster. So I took out the slimy green food one container at a time. I had “lettuce soup” in the bottom drawer. Yuk. It is shocking how someone who is as neat and clean-freaky as I am can keep her refrigerator like I do. I need Dr. Phil! Even now I have only done the quick clean method. Tonight I vow to go through every jar! (Or if not tonight soon...)
Am I the only one who does this? Are there any other Refrigerator's out there "Going Green." Please let me know...what does your refrigerator look like?

Week End

Today I was a bit more productive. Husband and I did watch a couple early movies until about 11:00am then ambitious Husband went out to trim trees but got rained out and worked in the office. I had already put dinner in the crock pot so I went to a friend’s house to knit all afternoon. Then I invited said friend to dinner and ummm it was so good. Pork roast with homemade gravy, curried rice, and one of my famous, everything but the kitchen sink, salads! God how I love my crock pot, which is actually a roaster, but close enough. I just threw in the roast about 9:00 with salt and pepper and a splash of beef stock and abracadabra I have a wonderful meal prepared by 5:30 even though I spent the day knitting. You gals who don’t use the slow cooker…you really should try it! I am here for culinary help any time!

Now this Desperate Housewife is posting quickly before I return to the big screen yet again.

Lazy=remote control

Today I gave the term lazy day a whole new meaning. My husband went off with a buddy to watch two football games. The house was clean, no one to feed so I watched some stuff on TV, read a book, cleaned up, (decided I’d better get out of my PJ’s after all it was 2:00pm) ran to the post office (son-in-law’s birthday is coming don’t want the card to be late), stopped at the grocery store. I bet you think I came home and did something worth while. NOT. Instead I watched Meada’s Family Reunion so I could droll over that darling Boris Kodjoe again, watched Simply Irresistible, because I had it taped, then just jumped around on some channels.
I have learned something about myself today; I really like having the remote and giant flat screen to myself. Watch out husband tomorrow is Sunday (football) so you better hope that guilt gets the best of me and I find something productive to do so that I give the remote back.

Bathroom Reader

Last night at book club one of the gals brought up a blog called the pioneer woman if you haven’t checked it out do so. thepioneerwoman.com
I think I’m hooked. Once you help someone pick out the stain color for their bathroom how do you move on?
Wouldn’t you know just when we buy a 46 inch flat screen TV I figure out that I am too busy to watch it—too busy reading the blogs of family, friends and now strangers. Blogs are fun but maddening. The maddening part is like reading a book in the bathroom. You sit down start to get into the book then you must put it down and not pick the book up until you have to go again. That’s what reading blogs are like…I want to keep on reading but I’m done and can’t pick up the book again until tomorrow. (That is why I don’t read in the bathroom…I am impatient. I can’t wait to turn the next page.)

I see in blog comments Carol responded…is that my Carol? NASA Carol? If so I-hope all is well! I have been thinking of you and your wedding lately, as it is pumpkin stew time.
Email me sometime. I don’t want to put out my email on this blog but you can figure it out here’s how:
It is the first letter of my first name and then my whole last name (plus)
@amfam.com

Nite Nite

Today I hosted my book club and it was my day off so basically I cleaned and cooked. I kicked my husband and dog out for the evening. But the husband is getting a big pay-off. They left him all kinds of deserts and spaghetti salad for tomorrow.
The book for this month was Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. As far as the book goes it was not one of my favorites. It was worth reading but I didn’t connect with it much. The other gals seemed to really like it though so I guess it was just me.
The get together was a blast. It always is, we eat, talk, drink…(maybe I should write a book?)
I’m too tired to be witty…I need sleep.

Elvis

I went to the movie Game Plan with the Rock. (I loved it) The movie was full of great Elvis music. It seems everywhere I turn there is hipe about Elvis lately. (On American Idol, specials...etc.) I keep thinking if his family would have someone remix the background music of all his songs bringing it into todays sound and then lay Elvis' own voice tracks back down on it...The King could live again! Even bigger than before I'll bet. Just think a whole new generation of kids could grow up loving him the way I did. The King would live on and never have to leave the building.

A glutton for punishment

I see that some of you have had experience with the doll clothes debacle. The advice to go buy doll clothes is so appreciated and so smart and probably even cheaper. But the satisfaction of doing it myself, the whole need to say that I can do it…keeps pushing me onward. Although I have learned that all material needs to be stretchy!

Leader of the Pack

I may have mentioned (or not) that I was looking forward to sewing doll clothes for my niece this weekend. Now I know why I don’t sew clothes of any size. I can’t make heads or tails out of what gets sewed where. The people who write the instructions for sewing clothes are obviously not writing them for idiots like me! I thought making a jean jacket for the doll with her name embroidered on it would be cool. The jean jacket is as small as your hand and yet it took me about 6 hours to make. And in the end I couldn’t follow the directions and did it my way. It turned out kind of cute but gees 6 hours? I was going to make three of them, one for each of her dolls. But I have since decided that one doll and one doll only should be lucky enough to get a jacket. Kind of like the Pink Ladies in Grease Two…you have to earn the jacket and the other two girls didn’t make the grade. The obvious leader of the pack is named Samantha and she has a jacket with her name on it to prove it.

Missing Mom

Today was the perfect MN fall day, a bit of chill in the air. So this morning I started a big kettle of boiled dinner. Which for those who aren’t familiar with that term, is ham, rutabagas, carrots, potatoes, cabbage & other veggies cooked slow all day in a broth. It sounds like a soup but it is not because all the vegetables are kept very large and chunky. It tastes really wonderful and I always thought it should have a better name than boiled dinner. But that is what my mom called it, and making it reminds me of her. Mine is good and is close to the way she made it but nothing could taste as good as hers. When ever she made a pot of it she would call and ask us to come to dinner. I would always drop everything to go. I don’t care what else I had planned.

That is one of the things I miss now that she is gone. One of the many small things that I miss so much—my heart just aches. Whoever may be reading this, if you still have your mother…pick up the phone and call her…just because you can.

Did you ever?

Have you ever had friends (or family) that repeatedly make, the dumbest decisions which land them in deep shit? And you know when they tell you the latest that they are headed for disaster once again but they won’t listen to reason. Because it appears they are hell-bent on destruction.
So, of course, they proceed and SPLAT they fall, once again, head long into yet another large steamy pile of shit!
So you pick them up, hose them down, prop them up, get them just about standing on their own two feet and yep, you guessed it, there they go again…SPLAT!

Here’s my question—do you ever just want to leave them lying face down in the pile of shit?

Going Global

After my friends read my hobby-aholic blog…they pointed out a few hobbies I forgot to mention:
Ceramics (does it even count if you only made frog sponge holders and the naked thinker guy?).
Cake decorating (problem there was I don’t bake…you need to have a cake to decorate). There were more but I don't have the strength right now to dig that deep.

The bottom line is that I do have a problem and what I found out in talking with my friends is…there are a lot of us out there. I am thinking of starting a group hobby-holics anonymous—(Drinking during group sessions mandatory!)

And you guys who are so smug reading this right now…think about all the gear you have for fishing, hunting, target practice, re-loading, paintball, model cars & planes, golf and the list goes on…

Watch for a group starting soon near you…I am taking this global!

Hobby Addict

Hello my name is Connie and I am a hobby-aholic!

Ever since my husband and I have been married my hobbies have been a bone of contention with us. I try a new hobby. What ever I get into…I love. I buy everything to do this particular hobby And that equals Cha-ching! This is not the part that he minds. What he minds is that after a short time I get sick of said hobby and move onto a new hobby—usually never to pick up old hobby again. Now mind you, I have every intention of doing said hobby until I die but new hobby comes along and...what can I say, I'm fickle.

This cycle started right after we got married. My first hobby to fall flat was latch hook rugs. I remember it well. We were on a weekend in Kansas City. He and a buddy were at a ball game…left to my own devices I wandered into a craft store and wandered out with $350.00 worth of yarn and canvas. (In 1974 that was a lot of moola.) He was not a happy camper especially when about half way into my first rug I decided the project sucked. I did make my daughter a very ugly latch hook pillow with Mickey Mouse on the front. My husband always referred to it as the $350.00 pillow. Since then so many hobbies have fallen to the way-side; some of which include, stamping, knitting, quilting, crocheting, painting & beading.

I recently found a new hobby, machine embroidery & purchased a new sewing/embroidery machine (cha ching, cha ching) and today I am taking a sewing class that will help me learn to use it. I am excited about it. And as I told my husband last night when I was packing my machine up in it’s new rolling travel case, this hobby I will be doing until I die. To which he answered, “no comment.”

Late is a deal breaker

I am a punctual person. And I expect those people I have to deal with in my life to be punctual as well. I guess you could say I hate late! That is what makes living in this world so irritating. At work, almost everyone I deal with is irresponsible. They never get back to you when they say they will. Never. They don’t show up on time for an appointment. And if you are going to their place for an appointment when you get there they are not home, they forgot. (Even though I reminded them the day before.)

I also hate dealing with the cable company, phone company, and especially exterminator companies. Yup, you guessed it. They didn’t show. So now I am Bugged at the Bug company! They give you a four hour window—8:00 to noon…and then don’t think anything of not showing at all, even when you have waited half a day for them, or a week for them as it may be.

A long time ago a friend of mine made a date with a new guy. When we asked her how it went the next day she said, He told me he would be there at 8:00. So I waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and then it was ten minutes after 8:00! I can so identify…to me ten minutes late is a deal breaker.

Every night for ten years I called my husband and asked him what time he would like dinner. He would pick the time and I would have dinner be on the table at that exact time. Every day he would be at least ten minutes late. (Dinner gets cold in ten minutes.) I got so tired of it one night when he wasn’t home when dinner went on the table I threw his dinner in the garbage.
He has made it home on time most every night since.

Late is unexeptable...leave earlier. My time is just as important as yours.

Don't BUG me!

These MN bugs are driving me mad. This time of year the box elder bugs and the Asian beetles are invading the premises. Our siding, which is taupe, now looks black and red all over. You can’t walk in and out the door without encountering hundreds of these bugs. They fly at you, land on you and come into the house where ever they can; and trust me they can. They are gross, gross, gross. I am freaked out by bugs’ period, and having this many attacking you is enough to make me want to hibernate until winter!

They are the grossest looking bugs ever. (I said that already but it bares repeating.) I continually scream, duck, & flail my arms about looking ridicules when ever I am running from the house to the car. I’m sure I am fodder for much belly laughing from my neighbors who don’t seem to be bothered by this invasion at all. In fact they sit outside on their porch enjoying the sunshine with these creepy things crawling all over them. I just don’t get it.

When the bugs get inside the house you have to squish the ugly things and they stink and bleed red ooze all over.
I told my husband, “This is it. I am not putting up with these critters any more. I don’t care what it costs I want to get rid of them.”
He said, “They will go away on their own for free in a couple months.”
To which I answered, “I can’t wait a couple months it’s either I get rid of the bugs or else!”
Now I didn’t say what or else meant, but he said, “Fine call them”. So, I called a bug spraying outfit and they are supposed to be coming today. Hurrah!

So I say to all Box Elder Bugs and Asian Beetles in the area...if this is WAR—bring it on.

What a wonderful day!

It has been a productive day so far. Got up around 6:30 drank three mugs of coffee and had a relaxing breakfast with my husband. The weather couldn’t be lovelier; simply a gorgeous sunny MN day. Then the two of us went out and cleaned the garage. Every fall we need to clean out the garage in order to park in it. In the house I’m a neat freak but apparently I consider the garage--a dump! Where does all the crap come from? Most of it was empty cardboard boxes, seriously. After disposing of the boxes and putting everything back where it belonged sure enough there was room for two vehicles once again.

Then I was off to an Auction at the house of a friend’s mother who passed away. I knew she would need moral support. It is hard to see someone’s whole life out on the lawn in boxes being carted away by strangers. (I know, been there done that.)

After my husband finishes the Vikings Game we are off to the cemetery to replace all the real flowers that are starting to freeze, with fall arrangements. We have six to do so that will take the rest of the afternoon.

Then I plan to sew doll clothes for my niece’s American Girl Dolls and watch some TV before the work week starts up once again. What a wonderful day!

Bon Appetite!

A few days ago I started on a diet. I had been sticking to it religiously....here comes the catch.........
On Friday a friend and I decided we'd go shopping in St. Cloud today. And even when we were making our plans for the trip my first thought was, where should we eat? Now why would someone on a diet think of that? Because I wanted to find a healthy choice for lunch? No. Because on this diet I told myself it was okay to cheat on the weekends.

I have tried every diet plan known to man (woman). But my favorite is the sea-food diet; I see food & eat it! And in the tradition of the Sea-Food diet—guess what place we picked to eat today...Red Lobster!

After man came woman and she's been after him ever since.

After man came woman and she’s been after him ever since. Recently a friend reminded me of this old adage. I have been giving it some thought and I keep coming up with the same answer…WHY? Why have women been chasing after men since the beginning of time? Only to catch them and then spend fifty years wishing we could throw them back! I’m sure it all started with Adam and Eve? Adam didn’t have a toilet seat to leave up but most likely he did something equally as distressing. Maybe he wiped with his fig leaf and Eve was left to get out the skids. Whatever it was it must have driven Eve to the breaking point—that’s why she ate the apple—she was trying to get even with him.
The adage should be updated to: After man came woman and she’s been trying to get rid of him ever since!

I think therefore I am—crazy!

I think a lot when I have time on my hands at work and today is one of those days. Unfortunately, for my husband, I don’t think about work. Did I tell you I work for my husband? (He says I should use the term work as loosely as possible.)
Anyway back to my point…I especially wonder about things like how do ships float? How do planes fly? They are both huge, heavy and made of metal…how one floats and the other stays in the sky when every bit of common sense I have tells me it shouldn’t—boggles the mind.

From these thoughts you may or may not have concluded that I am scared to death of being on the ocean and in the sky. I do fly when I have to, but if I have my druthers it’s DRIVE. For those who will surely reply, “Have you heard it is much safer to fly than drive?” Yada Yada I know better. (And yes I have a few control issues.) And have you seen the age of the pilots lately…geez they look like Doogie Howser! I say, “Please tell me your daddy is piloting this plane?” (That statement makes me real popular.)

The closest I like to get to the ocean is to have a drink across the street. However, I won’t fly over the ocean at all. I have had this re-occurring nightmare since I was a kid that I get eaten by a shark. (It’s more graphic than that but I don’t want to go into gory details.) My husband tries to convince me its okay by saying, “hell the fall will kill you anyway,” and in case you are wondering—no that doesn’t make me feel one bit better.

This MN mom likes to keep her feet on the ground.

Blessed with friends

I couldn’t talk about my life without saying that I belong to a book club. We call ourselves the Birthday Girls. But it is really so much more than a book club. It is ten extraordinary women who have bonded in a friendship that will last through this life and into the next. I am truly blessed to have friends like this. We recently spent a get-a-way weekend at a winery. (Oh didn’t I mention that all our get-togethers include wine. Well they do, lots of wine and really great food!) What a blast we have.
My wish for anyone reading this is that one day you will know this kind of friendship. We don’t worry about getting older we celebrate the fact that we are older, yes, but also wiser, more together, and better in every way than the year before. (Well maybe not every way—things are going south whether we want to admit it or not.) So all of you women out there who don’t find time to be with your friends…make time. And all of you guys make time as well. When you get to be my age you realize life is short.

Long Lost Classmates

Last Friday was very special for me. I reconnected with a long lost classmate. This girl was a friend of mine fifty years ago. We went to grade school and high school together. But over the last forty years we have lost touch. Recently we have begun emailing and decided to plan a get together in Duluth. It was as if no time had passed at all. I mean realistically sure there were huge gaps in what we knew about one another but it didn’t seem to matter at all. We still had a bond that just couldn’t be denied. Laughter was shared; many old stories & I met her lovely daughter. Then another classmate surprised us at dinnertime and then there were three! (Well technically four because a new friend came with the old. I fear she was bored silly, but such a good sport about it…)
We three old pals…well I just can’t tell you the stories that were shared, and the wine! Oh my! What a treasure that day was and there will be more good times. Because I think we all felt like life is getting short and we don’t want to waste anymore of it without one another. You two are so special to me.

Then on Sunday I got a hold of another old friend in the area and we had breakfast together. That was special too. It seems that weekend was meant to reconnect me with old friends.
So I suggest that anyone reading this call an old friend up if you do you will feel wonderful.

Dogs and Husbands

The thing with setting up a blog and mentioning ones daughter and not ones husband…bad maneuver. So here goes, husband is a keeper. Husband does dishes and is work-a-holic; which is not so bad when you are the person in charge of spending.

Okay that said I need to reveal my dirty little secret. I sleep with a dog! (Husband not the dog I’m talking about.) Pomeranian, named Angel is. This six pounds of fluffy fur runs my life and takes up over half the bed. No matter where you would like her to sleep she always crawls back to the outside of the bed by the door. She maneuvers herself right under the covers and puts her head on the pillow. We move her but she always end up right back there. What I wonder is why? Isn’t the middle a desirable position? One would think that being in a large bed topped with a feather mattress and soft quilt might be enough to please most dogs but sadly not mine.

Small Town MN USA

I live in small town USA. Where there are no Starbucks, no Target, no Wal-Mart, no McDonalds, no movie theaters, not even a stop light! Are you thinking of buying property here yet? Well you would if you had ever been here. Every few miles we have crystal clear lakes, filled with fish you can actually eat. Our houses and cabins are surrounded with tall Maple, Oak and Pine trees. Here the smell of real wood burning fireplaces fills the crisp air this time of year; and the leaves are just starting to turn crimson and fall. If you haven’t been to God’s country come for a visit. There is no other place on earth quite like northern Minnesota. The people are so friendly they invite total strangers to dinner. (I just did it last weekend myself.) In our town there is no such thing as a wrong number because when you call one you just end up chatting for fifteen minutes with an old friend. Come see us now…and share some down-home hospitality!