My-KEA

Today one of my younger neighbors came over. She was telling me that they are going to try to sell their town house and that a professional photographer is coming to take photos. She wondered if I would give her some ideas on how to spruce up the place. I went over. She has a toddler and a baby about Rylee's age...hence lots of baby clutter. So I told her to downsize all non necessities and we went to Ikea, or My-kea as I lovingly refer to it, to buy storage! We loaded the vehicle top to bottom! I even managed to find a couple things I needed.
She is working on it tonight so I can't wait to have a look tomorrow.

Update: Since the possum has left my house I think I know where it has gone...three houses down. I took a short walk out back today and they have lots of clutter--great hiding places--and the dog next door to me always runs down there and barks. They have had some domestic issues with cops and guns so I am NOT going to drop by to tell them.

zippity do dah

Shannon stole my story about Australia, (good!) Huge Jackman, (yummy) and the old snoring guys. (loud) Which leaves me with zippity do dah to post about. However, I can add my 2 cents worth about the movie and say the big screen does it justice so Erin go see it at the old theater, it's cheaper than a movie rental.

To Jess's question about my email program: It is my email from work and if I don't want to go all the way into Am Fam and my computer set up...very slow to get to...I can quickly access email only from the web but it saves nothing except inbox. No address, zip.

Waiting here at Shannon's for the ATT TV guy to appear. (My money is on they aren't coming again!) Shannon went to school to get some paper work, I put Rylee to sleep in her stroller, the only way I have any luck these days, now I have time to read blogs. I'm sure yours will all be more interesting.

delete freak

I confess that I can't stand thing in my inbox! I delete everything! I admit I love hitting the delete key. All jokes go in the bin--delete--I don't usually even read them. (Friends forgive me!) Right now the email I have to use won't keep in memory any ones email addresses so I can't delete emails, I have to save them for the address to reply to. It is killing me!................Ah the urge to delete.
Dieting and not deleting in the same lifetime--what a cruel world.

Rouge Snapping Turtle

Story from Agate Lake-year approximate 1963:

The summer I was 12 or 13 we had a huge snapping turtle in Agate Lake-gone rouge. By huge I mean the shell was about as big around as a large metal garbage can cover. Well, this turtle realized there was a better way to get fish than to catch them, he could just wait until evening, swim to the dock and eat all the caught fish off the stringers. It was a variable seafood smorgasbord!

All the resorters were getting very upset and the fishermen were talking about trying to kill the turtle. There were two boys my age who were staying in the cabins that week. We had been fishing together everyday. (One of the turtle's snacks had been on our catch of the day.)

The boys had been coming to the lake since they were babies so between him and I, we knew the lake well. So we three musketeers decided we knew how to get that turtle ourselves and devised a plan. We three would take out a small row boat, right at dusk, and have our catch of the day dangling overboard on a stringer. We would each be armed with a bow and arrow. When the turtle came up to eat it, we would all shoot at his head - surly one of us would hit it!

With plan in place and telling no adults, we met just before dusk and rowed out about 40 yards into 15 foot deep water near where we usually saw the turtle, and waited. It was getting pretty dark and still no turtle but just when we were about to give up, it reared its ugly head.

We all got excited, stood up in the boat and leaned over for a good shot....................................... and oops--tipped over the boat! We were scared sh*tless that the turtle would bit off one of our toes and we swam for shore like a shark was after us!

The aftermath:
The turtle got away with our fish. Our bows and arrows went down with the ship.
The moral of the story was don't be dumber than the critter you are chasing!

Our parents were very mad-we were landlocked for punishment. My big brother had to go after the capsized boat in the morning and dive for the bows. He wasn't too happy as one of the bows was his. Everyone laughed at us...it was humiliating at the time, but it does make for a fond memory to look back on.

Moron Motorist

If channel 7 news picked up this story it would have been titled Freeway Frenzy or Highway Horror. But this is my story and I think Moron Motorist says it all.

There are inattentive drivers. There are stupid drivers. There are bad drivers. And then there are Mother F___ing Stupid Drivers and she was on the 595 in front of me today!!! Apparently the M.F.S.D. missed her exit and stopped, yes stopped, in the middle lane of the freeway right in front of me. I had Shannon, Rylee and John as passengers and cars were whizzing by us at 70/80 on both sides of and I couldn't move as I was stopped and they were going fast...I was laying on the horn (swearing expletives) and hoping we weren't going to get hit and kill us all. Finally, she started moving ahead and as soon as I was up to speed a bit I went around her and we all gave her a piece of our displeasure. She looked to be about forty and she had a Florida license plate so I doubt she was an Eskimo who never saw a freeway before. (And if she was she shouldn't have been driving. What in the heck is wrong with people that they are that stupid?

Afterward I said, "thank you God and our angels for keeping us safe." If they wouldn't have been looking after us it could have been disastrous.

Bad babysitters

One would think Rylee, who has seen me everyday (almost) since the day she was born, would be as comfortable with me as she is with her mommy and daddy--but alas not true! Last night so Jon and Shannon could go out for a few hours, Grandpa and gramma were sitting, here is how it played out:

A few minutes before they left Rylee started screamming, they hurried out. She never stopped! Wouldn't drink, sleep or quit crying. We shook, bounced, rocked, walked and finally I put her in the stroller and ran her around the house and for a brief 30 minutes she slept, woke up refreshed and continued the screaming.

Yes, I called for back-up, "are you done eating? Come home." Right as they pulled into the yard, Grandpa set her on the couch in front of him and she stopped screaming and smiled at me! In walk the parents who see a happy baby. (Just like calling the refrigerator repair man and the instant he walks in the door it starts working.) Anyway our nerves were fried...we headed home for a margarita night!

The thing is that even if she perfers her mom and dad that was not the only problem...something must have been bothering her but damn if she would let me try to figure it out. Poor little sweetheart, I guess last night, only mommy and daddy would do.

Ballsy

After reading Shannon's blog of New Year's Resolutions, I told her I was feeling bad that maybe she got her "too nice" quality from me. She quickly told me, however, that she more than likely got that from her Dad and then reminded me of two ballsy stories of my own. (I guess that was her subtle way of saying... "I'm not nice?")

Case in point #1: we had this cantankerous SOB insured with us for about ten years. Every time he came in the office, he was hollering and demanding something. And since he was the type to always make changes and have accidents, this was often. I used to say, "What does he do?...wake up, look in the mirror and say, 'How big a b**tard could I be today?!'"

One day he came in and I was alone in the office. He was turning in another claim and slamming down paperwork on my desk, yelling how he wanted his money NOW. This was like the third claim we'd handled in a month so the fact that he was acting like we would try to screw him or something got me riled up. I calmly took the information though, told him that I would get it in the system and have him paid out. Then I looked him in the eye and simply said, "But after this claim is processed, I think you should take your business elsewhere. In the 10 years you've been our client, nothing we've ever done has been good enough so I think you'd be happier somewhere else and I know I'd be happier if you took your business somewhere else." He was dumbfounded, didn't say another word, and left.

Then he called and made an appointment with John the next day. I thought he was going to come in and ream us both out, but I really didn't care. Even John was happy I'd finally stood up to him. To both our surprise, he came in and APOLOGIZED. He said he'd always appreciated everything we did and never knew he was being a jerk. If we'd give him another chance, he'd like to stay. We did and he was nice from then on. He kept his insurance with us many years. He even earned a soft spot in my heart and I wrote to him when he was in the nursery home until he passed away.

Case in point #2: there was an interesting guy who came in the office a few times to get quotes. He always demanded he talk to John directly. This guy smoked a big stogie (sp?) and had a dim-witted girl friend with only three teeth and even fewer brain cells. Well anyway, one day John was gone and I was the only one there and this guy was pissed about it because he wanted some insurance. I tried to tell him several times that I was quite capable of helping him, but he kept demanding John.

Finally I said "John won't be back until tonight so if you want this insurance, you will have to let me help you." At this point he angrily pounded his fist on the counter and said, "I don't deal with woman, period." I had had it...so I answered, "Well I don't deal with a**holes so hit the door buddy!" and marched back to my desk. He openly started belly laughing and then said, "You've got balls lady! I'll say that for you. If it's okay with you, I guess I'll let you write that insurance after all."

He didn't stay with us long but it made for a good story all these years. And look at that, I guess I am ballsy after all.